Are you doing what you really want to do or did you just fall or wander into the job you now have. As a friend of ours once said,’ I am one of twenty two doctors in our family. The only ones in our family who are not doctors are the dogs and cats’. Did you decide what you wanted to do or are you one of a growing number whose work was dictated by circumstances or their parents?

The question is not what are you doing and who put you there but; are you happy? If you are not doing what you really want to do then the chances are that you are unhappy and that is affecting your health and relationships as well as other parts of your life.
















The problem is that although we are aware, deep down, of what we want to do the hard part is putting those thoughts into action. Actually doing it. Perhaps you are trapped in the thinking process that says…; “ well I can’t really change”. How will I pay the mortgage? How will I pay the school fees? How will I ……..

Or perhaps your thinking says it is better the devil you know than the one you don’t.

Or are you thinking well I’m lucky really I have a regular job that pays sufficient salary (just about) and others are not as lucky as me?

Whatever your story. Just stop for a moment and ask yourself:

What is really driving me?

What makes me do what I do?

Sarah, a friend of ours, is 57 years of age, single, an only child with no parents alive and no children. In our language, she is the end of the line. A successful sales manager for an international company. But her world has just collapsed. A week before Christmas she was made redundant with little or no warning. She has given her life to the industry she worked in and feels very let down, bitter and disappointed. After all, she had it all worked out. Retirement happens at 60, the mortgage will be paid off, the pension fund will start to pay up and then she will be able to decide what she wants to do in the future.

But that hasn’t happened. She is three years short and needs work. Her initial calls to her vast network of friends and colleagues has resulted in either, sympathy, not returned or I’m sorry but…you understand…we need ur hmph younger people… On the other hand there are those who kept her confidence up by inviting her for an interview only to find on arrival that either there was no job or ur hmmph we found someone younger.

So Sarah was forced to ask herself: ‘Where do I go from here?’

She doesn’t want to retire….she’s too young for that!!! The lack of response from her industry and so called friends and network has forced her to ask herself, ‘What do I really want to do?’
If I can’t continue the habit and stay in the industry, ‘What do I really want to do?’

She started to ask herself;

What really drives me?

What made me do what I did?

What did I love most about the job?

Gradually she had to acknowledge that most of her working life had been driven by fear. Fear of not being able to pay the mortgage.
Fear of getting into debt.
Fear of failing a credit check.
Fear of being a failure.
Fear of having to be on her own.

However, she also realised that what had driven her to stay in her industry all her life was the love she had for putting teams of people together. The love of developing people who felt they couldn’t achieve. The love of being a nanny, nurse, coach, counsellor etc to young and developing sales teams. The enjoyment she got out of caring for others, steering them, cajoling them. It was almost that over the years her sales teams had become her family and she enjoyed that. What’s more she found that her greatest enjoyment had come from turning around ailing, little known or unsuccessful products.

Now she started to work with a new vigour. Instead of being an old or aged, victim, with little or no hope of getting work. She started to scan the ads and rewrite her CV as a caring, coach, who loved developing and growing sales teams of young people. Someone who could be relied upon to introduce vigour and sparkle to old, tired and little known products.

We don’t have a happy ending to the story yet, but Sarah had three interviews last week and one company has called to see her again as they are interested in what she might have to offer them. We are all keeping our fingers crossed.

And Sarah? She has a new spring in her step. A belief that she has discovered what she really wants to do. She is constantly focussed in the positive. We have no doubt that she will get what she wants.

The moral to the story. The answer is always inside yourself. The answer is in your thoughts. Look deep inside yourself. Ask yourself; What really drives me? What deep down is the reason I’m on the planet. Don’t cheat yourself: stay with the question.. You will know when you find it because your whole body feels: yes I’ve got the right answer. Then: Just accept it, change your thoughts and believe in yourself. And watch life change.
\On other hand, as Beth Mende Conny stated, "If you don't take control of your life, don't complain when others do."
Julie and Graham

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